Being That Friend Your Child Seeks In You
Parenting is interesting, and is a nice journey and yet throws a huge challenge in front of new and old parents both. The reason is the constantly changing situation, twists and turns in the relationship the child shares with the parents as he or she grows. Every child-parent relationship is special and different from another. Through there are common rules to apply for making things better, there are many such decision which the parents need to take thoughtfully for improving situations.
How to avoid bashing the child
It’s very easy to lose control when you see the kid involved in a wrong activity. This may be as silly as telling a lie, avoiding home work, or stealing money, or shoplifting, or much worse things. The first instinct for some would be to question the act, and thrash the kid with anger and resentment, which will create distance every time it’s repeated. The kid may never improve, and repeat same or worse mistakes as a result.
The better way out is to commit the child in the first place and make it believe, that you are not to scold or punish the kid. Tell your kid that “papa or mamma will not scold you. We will simply share what happened.” The kid will feel much comfortable opening up before you, when the fear of being punished or scolded will be totally gone. And this can happen with careful, conscious practicing. Every time the kid is doing some nuisance irrespective of the age; talk soft, call him closer, and discuss. If you overreact badly, and this can happen to anyone remember to apologize it shows them that you can make mistakes also but you own up to them.
Things will not be in your favor always. You may have to hear complaints of your kid from neighbors, school authority, other parents or friends. And you may feel from time to time that you are a failure. But things can still improve, when you keep patience, and remember to stay calm.
What children feel about their parents
Children feel and know that they are unconditionally loved by their parents. No matter what they do, this is the only place they may seek comfort and help. And this belief should grow stronger with age, so that you can talk not as the child and parent, but rather as two friends who have crossed that barrier of age to mingle.
However once the child gets a feel that he is not loved anymore the same way, he will feel the world shutting down all its doors for him, and this feel is enough to take him into a dangerous shock. Hence you must not forget to tell your kid, that “no matter what happens, we love you.”
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