In all honesty I’m getting a little tired of this question, I’ve been single for one year now and I don’t really feel the need to start dating or be in a relationship.
My relationship wasn’t healthy and didn’t end well. I had to build my self up after it, also trying to work out other difficulties that I was facing. Healing takes time, no one can tell me different.
It seems like some people can’t be alone and jump from one relationship to another without giving them self time to heal. Sometimes those relationship last forever but from what I’ve seen, they usually don’t last long.
This wasn’t my first break up but if I’m lucky my last one. My biggest mistake was getting into a relationship too quickly after meeting. I don’t regret my past relationships in any way even tough brake up is always hard but I have learned from it and i have my two beautiful boys because of them.
This time I decided to do things differently and taking time to get to know my-self better and learn what i really want. So i have some tips i would like to share with others out there.
- Take your time to think about what went wrong, what could be avoided, the good memories, the bad memories and what you want for your next relationship, if you start dating.
- Try to look at your past relationship as a lesson to better your self and not as a waste of time. With time you are more likely to recognize the mistakes you made, not only seeing what your ex said or did wrong. Learn from it and avoid doing the same mistakes again or at least learn to admit if you notice that you are being unfair in an argument and apologize. It will help you find the root to your problems and help you grow.
- Learn to be alone. You are probably used to have some one with you almost always and just sleeping alone can be difficult. The first months after my break up I always had my sons sleeping in the same bed as me.
- If being alone is something you are afraid of you probably need to acknowledge the self-esteem issue that you haven’t noticed. Work towards being strong, interdependent and stand on your own feet. Being on your own helps you get back the pieces of your self you have lost.
I can’t answer how long your brake should be but when you feel ready to date, go for it but try to avoid getting in a relationship after the third date. Have fun and take your time getting to know each other, this is not a race and you don’t want another failed relationship because you didn’t take time to truly get to know one another. If you have kids you should really be sure before introducing your new spouse, this can be really confusing to them.
I’ll throw in a post soon about things you can do while taking a break from dating.
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